Five “Self-Persuasion” Questions To Connect With Prospects Who Say They’re Interested… But Aren’t Moving Forward

Ambivalence Is Confusing… And Normal

Prospective clients without immediate financial concerns can present a unique challenge for financial advisors: turning their curiosity into commitment. This hesitation often stems from ambivalence, a natural but often overlooked part of decision-making – particularly when it comes to financial planning. These prospects may lack a sense of urgency – unlike someone facing an impending tax bill or another pressing need – but their decision to book an appointment signals genuine interest, even if they hesitate to take action.

For advisors, this hesitation can be frustrating or even confusing. However, it's often less about disinterest and more about the complexity of emotions tied to financial change. Prospects frequently find themselves 'teeter-tottering' between recognizing the benefits of planning and feeling discomfort about making a change.

The Challenge Of Change

Change, especially when it involves financial matters, can be inherently challenging. Many people are slow to embrace it, especially if they perceive themselves as 'doing okay'. Prospects who aren't in immediate financial distress – such as those with a steady income and a decade or more from retirement – often experience ambivalence out of uncertainty rather than avoidance. While they're curious about financial planning, they're unsure if it's the right step or truly necessary. They might even view financial planning as a 'good idea' but carry doubts about timing, relevance, and, ultimately, the value that a financial advisor can add to their lives.

Seeking Reassurance, Not Solutions

In this state of ambivalence, prospects are often seeking reassurance more than solutions. They want confirmation that financial planning is a sound next step and that it can support their long-term goals. More importantly, they need to hear themselves affirming this decision.

This need for reassurance is similar to what someone might seek during a routine doctor's check-up. Patients typically want confirmation that their health is on track and an opportunity to discuss their progress – not a long list of 'must-do' changes to implement. Imagine a patient who receives a clean bill of health but is then presented with a detailed plan for several lifestyle changes – new diets, extra gym sessions, and various supplements. Even if these recommendations are beneficial, they can feel overwhelming to someone who already believed they were in good shape.

Similarly, when financial advisors present risks or potential problems to ambivalent prospects who aren't facing immediate issues, the response may be confusion or even resistance. These individuals might think, "I thought I was doing okay", and pointing out numerous potential concerns can feel threatening rather than supportive.

While identifying risks and potential issues is part of an advisor's value, this can inadvertently create resistance instead of trust for those who aren't urgently seeking problem-solving. In these situations, the focus should remain on building trust and rapport rather than addressing hypothetical issues prematurely.

Fostering Connection Through Collaboration

For ambivalent prospects, the primary decision isn't about solving specific financial problems – it's about whether they're comfortable and confident in choosing to work with an advisor at all. Advisors who lean too heavily on identifying potential risks may alienate those who aren't ready to confront complex challenges. Instead, effective advisors recognize the importance of relationship building over 'issue-spotting' with these individuals.

For many advisors, this often requires a shift in focus. By prioritizing rapport and emotional connection and fostering interest in and curiosity about financial planning, advisors create a more inviting atmosphere for ambivalent prospects. Instead of relying on fear-based tactics, successful advisors emphasize reassurance and excitement about the positive possibilities of working together. This collaborative framework helps empower prospective clients, allowing them to feel they're making proactive, confident decisions for their financial future – without the pressure of addressing perceived shortcomings.

Building such connections requires empathy. Ambivalent prospects benefit from actively participating in the process, discovering their own needs, and articulating the potential benefits of planning. When advisors acknowledge ambivalence as a natural part of the decision-making process, they can guide prospects toward understanding the value of financial planning – without relying solely on persuasion or pressure. This approach helps these individuals feel more comfortable and confident in their choice to engage in financial planning, setting a solid foundation for a productive and trusting advisor-client relationship.

Introducing Self-Persuasion Questions

For ambivalent prospects, self-persuasion questions can spark deeper reflection and bring out their unique motivations for financial planning. By inviting them to articulate their reasons for taking action, these reflective questions help create a sense of empowerment and clarity. At the same time, they also make it easier for advisors to guide prospective clients through the decision-making process.

The following are five core self-persuasion questions, each presented with alternative phrasings and scenarios to illustrate their relevance. Suggestions on tone and pacing are also included to help advisors deliver these questions effectively and thoughtfully. These questions are versatile tools, adaptable to different stages of the prospect journey, as will be discussed later.

Question 1. "Share with me a bit: What would having a financial plan do for you?"

Alternate Versions:

• "How might a financial plan benefit your current situation?"
• "In what ways do you think a financial plan could improve your financial life?"

Tone and Delivery Tips:

• Maintain a warm and open tone and make eye contact if the conversation is in person.
• Pause slightly after asking the question to emphasize its importance and encourage thoughtful reflection.

Question 2. "I'm curious. What are the benefits you see – financially, relationally, or emotionally – from developing and implementing a financial plan?"

Alternate Versions:

• "How could a financial plan positively impact different areas of your life?"
• "What benefits, beyond the financial, do you think a plan could bring to your family and future?"

Tone and Delivery Tips:

• Use empathetic body language (like a gentle nod) to reassure the prospect that all aspects of their concerns – financial, relational, and emotional – are being acknowledged and valued.
• Use a calm and supportive tone, encouraging them to reflect on what truly matters to them.

Question 3. "If you would be willing, tell me: What value do you believe a financial plan brings to your specific situation?"

Alternate Versions:

• "Why do you think a financial plan might be relevant to you right now?"
• "In your unique situation, what value could a financial plan add?"

Tone and Delivery Tips:

• Pause for a slightly longer beat after asking to encourage deeper reflection.
• Avoid filling the silence, giving the prospect space to articulate their thoughts and connect with their own reasoning.
• Use a curious, non-judgmental tone, showing genuine interest in how they view their own needs.

Question 4. "Share with me a bit about how important you think our relationship will be to the success of your financial plan."

Alternate Versions:

• "How do you see our collaboration contributing to your financial goals?"
• "What role do you think a trusted advisor might play in achieving your financial vision?"

Tone and Delivery Tips:

• Use a warm, reassuring tone, accompanied by a subtle gesture like a light lean forward, to signal a commitment to the partnership.
• Allow time for the prospect to express their thoughts, emphasizing their role in shaping the advisor-client relationship.

Question 5. "Tell me: Why is it important to start financial planning now rather than later?"

Alternate Versions:

• "What might be the benefit of beginning this planning process now?"
• "How could taking action now support your long-term goals?"

Tone and Delivery Tips:

• After asking, pause thoughtfully to give the prospect space to connect with their reasons for starting now.
• Maintain a soft, inquisitive tone, making the question feel like an invitation to reflect rather than a push to commit.

By incorporating these self-persuasion questions into conversations, advisors provide a framework that invites prospects to openly explore their motivations. Maintaining a gentle, encouraging tone and using well-timed pauses give them the space to reflect deeply on each question's meaning. This thoughtful approach fosters trust and self-discovery, helping those who are ambivalent to feel more secure in their choice to engage with a financial planner – and take that important first step toward building a trusted partnership.

Why Self-Persuasion Questions Work

Self-persuasion questions are powerful because they allow prospects to express their own reasons for engaging in financial planning. Notably, the effectiveness of these questions is supported by research, which has suggested that people are more motivated by their own ideas than by those imposed on them. When an advisor helps a prospect articulate why planning matters to them, it fosters genuine buy-in. Hearing themselves say, "Yes, financial planning is important to me," is far more impactful than being told by an advisor that they 'should' be prioritizing it.

This approach is especially beneficial for those who aren't in immediate financial distress. With no pressing issue to address, these prospects need to convince themselves that taking action now is worthwhile. By voicing their own reasons – such as "This will help me feel more secure" or "I'll gain clarity about my future" – they internalize the value of planning in a way that feels natural and personally meaningful.

Unlike traditional 'issue-spotting' strategies, which can feel pressured or fear-based, self-persuasion questions encourage prospects to align their financial goals with their values. This reflective strategy fosters empowerment, helping them feel confident and in control of their decision to engage in financial planning. And when they 'own' the motivation, they're more likely to follow through and feel satisfied with the journey ahead.

How And Where To Use Self-Persuasion Questions

Advisors can seamlessly integrate reflective questions into different stages of the prospect-to-client journey to enhance engagement and uncover key insights. These questions fit naturally into initial consultations, like screening and introduction meetings, as well as follow-up discussions, such as discovery and plan presentations. And by encouraging reflection, they reveal valuable insights about the prospect's motivations and readiness for financial planning.

Below are some common situations where self-persuasion questions can be most effective, along with guidance on interpreting responses to better understand a person's needs and readiness to engage in financial planning.

Initial Consultation: Building Interest And Comfort During Screening And Intro Calls

In early conversations, self-persuasion questions serve to build interest while keeping the conversation relaxed and prospect-focused. For example, asking questions like, "Share with me what you believe having a financial plan will do for you?" encourages prospective clients to visualize the benefits of planning without requiring the advisor to make suggestions, identify issues, or guess their concerns.

During these initial meetings, prospects are often uncertain about what they want from financial planning. Reflective questions provide gentle guidance, allowing them to explore their interests, assumptions, and motivations at their own pace. For many individuals, this experience is new – most haven't worked with a financial planner, even if they may have worked with other professionals like accountants. Slowing down to explore their interests and what they believe financial planning can encourage the prospect to talk through the benefits of planning for themselves.

When prospective clients spend 30 minutes to an hour talking about how planning could improve their lives, they're much more likely to trust their positive emotions and take the next step. By leading the conversation this way, advisors effectively help them talk themselves into the benefits of planning!

Tone and Approach: During an initial consultation, maintain an inviting, conversational tone, and ask each question with casual curiosity. Pause after each question to give prospects a chance to reflect and respond thoughtfully without feeling rushed. This can also help advisors gauge their comfort level with financial planning and uncover what excites them or causes hesitation. By reflecting their insights back to them, advisors can connect their motivations to the ways the firm creates plans and supports clients, encouraging trust and alignment.

Follow-Up Sessions: Reaffirming Value And Addressing Ambivalence In Discovery And Plan Presentation

In follow-up meetings, such as discovery sessions and plan presentations, prospects may still show signs of ambivalence. They might be weighing their commitment to fully engage in financial planning or hesitating to implement changes in their spending or portfolio. In these situations, self-persuasion questions can serve as reaffirmations, inviting them to articulate why planning feels valuable to them.

For instance, starting a discovery meeting with a question like, "Would you be willing to share with me what benefits you see on the horizon – financially, relationally, or emotionally – from having a plan?" can reinforce their reasons for exploring financial planning. This approach encourages prospects to consider the various benefits of planning, such as enhancing family stability or achieving peace of mind, alongside financial outcomes. By broadening the discussion to include social and emotional effects, advisors can create a more complete and motivating picture of the prospect's future.

Tone and Approach: In follow-up meetings, a slightly more confident tone can show the advisor's commitment to the relationship while still inviting the prospect's perspective. Gently steering the conversation toward specific concerns or goals they mentioned in previous meetings can reinforce that the plan aligns with their values. This reassures them that their unique priorities are at the heart of the planning process.

Moments Of Hesitation: Helping Prospects Move Past Uncertainty

If prospects express hesitation about moving forward, self-persuasion questions can help them clarify and confront their own uncertainties. Asking, "Tell me why it's important to start now rather than later?" encourages them to think about the long-term impact of their decision.

If a prospect struggles to answer, it might indicate they aren't quite ready to commit, which is valuable information for pacing future interactions. Advisors can then adjust their method, keeping the relationship warm and supportive without pressuring the individual. Staying in touch through periodic emails, invitations to events, or other light-touch engagements can maintain the connection until the prospect feels ready to proceed. This proactive but nonintrusive approach prevents the frustration of starting a plan only to face incomplete paperwork or lack of follow-through.

Tone and Approach: When addressing hesitation, adopt a tone of understanding and empathy. It's important for prospects to feel that their ambivalence is normal and accepted. A moment of silence after asking a self-persuasion question allows them to internalize the prompt and respond authentically without feeling pressured to make an immediate decision.

Interpreting Prospective Client Responses: Gauging Readiness For Financial Planning

The way prospects respond to self-persuasion questions offers valuable insights into their readiness for a planning relationship. Those who can clearly articulate their reasons for engaging in financial planning are often closer to commitment. These responses indicate they've internalized the benefits and are building confidence in their decision.

Conversely, if prospects struggle to respond, they may still be evaluating whether planning feels relevant or necessary at this point in time. This doesn't mean they wouldn't benefit from financial planning; it simply suggests that more relationship-building, reassurance, or time may be needed. Advisors should prepare for a slower pace, focusing on developing trust and maintaining open communication.

By listening carefully to responses, advisors can better gauge readiness and tailor their questions to meet each prospect where they are. Whether this means moving forward with a detailed plan or continuing light-touch engagement, understanding an individual's readiness ensures the relationship progresses naturally and constructively.

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We all tend to value our own ideas the most. Self-persuasion questions encourage prospects and clients to talk about why financial planning – and working with a financial planner – matters to them, reinforcing their confidence in taking the next step. Ambivalence is a natural part of any significant decision or change, and choosing to work with a planner is no exception. It's the first decision they need to feel confident about before making any others.

How advisors choose to address this ambivalence can significantly affect how empowered and motivated someone feels. By using self-persuasion questions, advisors can create meaningful connections and foster a sense of excitement about working together. This positively focused approach doesn't just help prospects make the decision – it helps them own it!