Executive Summary
In meetings with current and prospective clients, asking follow-up questions can be a valuable tool for uncovering information about the client’s underlying values, goals, and motivations… and for deepening the personal connection that drives the advisor-client relationship. But while it’s one thing to know that it’s good to ask questions, it’s another thing to know which questions to ask to make the client feel comfortable enough to open up and discuss the personal topics of money and finance.
Some coaches and experts are proponents of Root Cause Analysis, an approach centered around the question “Why?”: By starting with a basic question such as, “Why does money matter to you?”, then continuing to follow up with more “Why?” questions, the thinking goes that the advisor can drill further and further down until they get to the true root cause of the client’s values or motivations. But although this approach is appealing in its simplicity (since it only requires the advisor to supply the initial question, with all of the subsequent follow-up questions being variations of “Why”?), it isn’t always the most effective approach to drawing out information or building trust. Because while some clients may appreciate its directness in certain situations, in other cases, being asked “Why?” repeatedly can feel like an invasive and impersonal interrogation – or like being peppered with questions by an overly inquisitive toddler – and can result in an aversion to or annoyance with the advisor’s line of questioning.
An alternative approach that can be softer than the directness of “Why?” is to instead ask, “What else?”. Although both approaches have the goal of drawing out more information from the client and drilling deeper into their responses, the brain often interprets the 2 questions differently. Whereas “Why” can feel as though it presupposes a right or wrong answer – which can put the brain in an anxious state in trying to search for the most appropriate response – “What else?” can make the client feel more in charge of their response and less likely to feel judged on it, which can also put them more at ease and open the door to a more free-flowing conversation.
At a high level, asking “What else?” is about keeping the spotlight on the client and keeping them talking as they spin out the details of what’s on their mind. As they put their thoughts and ideas into language, they may encounter new realizations about their own goals or motivations that had never occurred to them before, and because there’s no pressure to supply a ‘correct’ answer, they’re encouraged to keep sharing and processing their thoughts out loud as they gradually get to what really matters to them. And at the end of a meeting, “What else?” can be a great way to wrap up and identify issues to follow up on or discuss at the next meeting!
The key point is that “What else?” is a means to achieve the same ends as a “Why?”-based line of questioning while sidestepping the potential issues that “Why?” can create. When meeting with prospects or clients in the early stages of the relationship – when the client may still be getting used to the idea of having an advisor and sensitive towards being judged for their financial behavior – “What else?” can create an open and comfortable environment for the client to explore their goals and values, which ultimately can make it easier for the advisor to focus their advice on what’s truly meaningful for the client.
Asking “Why” 5 Times In Early Client/Prospect Meetings Is Not The Best Follow Up
Some advisors may have wondered where repeatedly asking “why” comes from. Surprise… it wasn’t from Simon Sinek. Repeatedly asking “why” actually comes from a process called Root Cause Analysis, believed to have been developed from the principle of asking a series of questions, the “5 Whys”, established by Sakichi Toyoda, Japanese inventor and founder of Toyota Industries.
Root Cause Analysis is an interrogative technique used for business situations and problems. It is commonly taught in the Six Sigma program, a process management system designed to optimize the quality of a business’ operational processes and to help managers quickly get to the root cause of an issue. While Root Cause Analysis and asking the question “Why?” can be great ways to solve business questions and optimize management processes, they are not the best ways to approach personal money questions.
Many advisors familiar with Bill Bacharach – a coach of financial advisors, financial advisor himself, and author of “Values-Based Financial Planning” (one of the first books I ever read connecting the idea of deeper values with money) – may wonder how his approach is any different from using Root Cause Analysis or asking the “5 Whys”. Part of his approach to working with financial planning clients is to ask, “Why does money matter to you?” which is then followed up with, “Well, why does that matter to you?” and so on. Drilling down deeper and deeper into the client’s true values.
But the reality is that this may work very well for Bill because he is known for using this approach, and clients who go to him may expect this line of questioning. But for many other advisors, this methodology may not be as effective for them as it is for Bill Bacharach. I, for one, am a woman, and I am also younger than Bill. Asking those questions to clients who are the age of my parents might not go very well. For instance, in my own experience as a woman, I’ve noticed that consumers tend to have different perceptions and expectations dependent on gender. This has also been suggested by research, as assertive women are often labeled more negatively than men displaying the same behavior. Asking “Why?” multiple times can be viewed as an assertive approach as it tends to push clients forward – and for me, as a woman, it is not surprising when my assertiveness using the method is considered negative.
Age is also a factor that often influences how clients consider their advisors. Younger advisors with older financial planning clients may sometimes find it difficult to establish a strong rapport with their clients, as getting nudged, analyzed, interviewed, or interrogated (which is what it can feel like to a client being asked “Why?” over and over again) by someone whom they consider to be inferior in life experiences can be distasteful to the client.
This type of ageism is seen in healthcare as well as other industries and is often explained by the idea that the human brain is naturally inclined to categorize and stereotype. It does this not because we are intentional jerks but because it helps us process and rationalize the world around us more efficiently, enabling us to make quicker judgments through the use of representative heuristics, which is our innate reliance on biases that help us connect familiar ideas with unfamiliar ones as a way to help make sense of what we don’t know. Because I don’t look like a ‘traditional’ financial planner (i.e., an older, white male), especially to many older clients, my ability to use the “Why?” approach might not work with the same efficacy for those clients with a different view of what a financial planner ‘should’ look like.
Even when representative bias isn’t an issue, this style of questioning can still be upsetting. Consider the Greek philosopher Socrates, who spent a lot of time asking people “Why?” to get to the deeper issues. Despite the admiration his followers had for his intellect and argumentative skill, political leaders did not like Socrates asking, “Why, why, why” – not only was he considered disrespectful and judgmental of authority, but he was also accused of inspiring many of his youthful followers to disrespect the Greek political system. And as a result, he was executed for impiety and corrupting the youth.
Finally, consumers may find this “why”-based method to be exhausting and frustrating even if the intention is good. While Socrates may have intended to push the boundaries of respect by relentlessly questioning authority, the reasons to ask “Why?” can often be based simply on curiosity and interest, with no intention of disrespect or malice. Even so, this method is not safeguarded from backfiring.
In his book, “The Beautiful Book of Questions”, Warren Berger writes about the impact of endlessly asking “Why?” and how it can be frustrating. He refers to a clip in which the comedian Louis C.K. talks about being repeatedly asked “why” by his child. In the clip, the child asks “why” again and again. The intention is good; the child simply wants to learn and is innocent in their curiosity. However, the process is exhausting and frustrating for Louis C.K. (despite a brilliant illustration of the child’s use of Root Cause Analysis to understand the deep reasoning behind why she can’t go out and play!).
While asking “why” is often done with the right intention of getting more clarity into complex issues, this strategy simply doesn’t play out as envisioned for some advisors and clients. Given how such a line of questioning may come across as frustratingly relentless and judgmental, along with the research demonstrating how uncomfortable people are talking about money, using a “why”-based Root Cause Analysis approach can result in a real firestorm.
This doesn’t mean that asking “Why?” can never work (after all, it can be used effectively as a follow-up question and, when used in the right way, can also be a good way to build trust), but if the advisor is trying to get closer to the client – especially a new one – by understanding their deeper motivations and behaviors, asking less loaded follow-up questions that aren’t as interrogative can result in the same desired outcome with a lot less potential backlash.
Asking “What Else” Can Reap The Same Benefits As Asking “Why”… But Without The Same Problems
Many advisors like the “Why” process because it is simple. It can be tough to think of one great follow-up question after another. Instead, an easy alternative is to consider questions other than “Why?” that can be used repeatedly. Although “Why?” is a repeatable follow-up question, it can cause some unwanted issues, as discussed earlier. One such alternative to asking “Why” is asking “What else?” instead. This question has all the benefits of asking “Why” (and more!) without the drawbacks.
The biggest difference between repeatedly asking “What else?” over “Why?” is that “What else” implies that an open invitation or request is being made to share more, whereas “why” is a question that suggests a justification needs to be made to explain whatever was just said. This small change can have huge implications on how our brain processes the question. The brain prefers invitations and requests to share information over questions that are considered to have ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ answers. When questions are framed as invitations to share information, this tends to be much more calming than being faced with a question where we must provide a ‘right’ or ‘good’ answer.
Research on asking “What else?” instead of “Why?” in a medical setting has suggested that asking “what else” is more patient-centered and allows for more creative and wider answers. For example, consider the following (hypothetical!) question asked by Michael Kitces, wearing a blue shirt and offering blue swag to a Kitces.com member:
Michael Kitces: Is your favorite color blue?
Kitces.com Member: It’s… it’s actually green. But I really like blue a lot!!
In this question, the member is feeling a bit of pressure to say that his favorite color is blue (because he really wants the swag!). Although their favorite color is actually green, they feel that “green” is the wrong answer and is compelled to immediately follow up, albeit a bit defensively, and explain that they still like blue a lot.
Now consider the following exchange, where Michael frames his question more as an open invitation to share information:
Michael Kitces: Can you tell me your favorite color?
Kitces.com Member: I love green. It’s the most beautiful color!
Questions that imply right or wrong answers can bring tension because the brain feels compelled to come up with the right answer, and when there is uncertainty about what the right answer is, it can be very stressful. Conversely, asking a question that is more of an invitation to share suggests that there are no right or wrong answers; instead, creative and honest answers are more likely to be offered in response.
Now consider the difference between asking “why” and “what else” as a follow-up question. In the dialogue below, the advisor wants to delve deeper into his new client’s concerns and decides to use “Why?” as his chosen follow-up question:
Advisor: What brings you in today?
Newer Client: I want to figure out how to retire.
Advisor: Okay, let me first ask you, why is retirement so important?
Newer Client: I just don’t want to work anymore.
Advisor: Go with me for a moment here; it might seem obvious, but I want to hear your answer – why is not working so important?
In this dialogue, the questions asked by the advisor seem as though there is a specific answer that the client should know. There is no space to explore hypothetical scenarios and no invitation to explore if the client has any other pressing concerns. The line of questioning feels narrowly specific and almost aggressive.
But consider the next dialogue, where the advisor chooses to ask “What else?” as a follow-up question instead of “Why”. Notice how the questioning feels more inviting and broad, and even less aggressive:
Advisor: What brings you in today?
Newer Client: I want to figure out how to retire.
Advisor: Okay, what else?
Newer Client: I am also worried about the market lately.
Advisor: Anything else?
Newer Client: Yeah. Since you asked... I’m also feeling apprehensive about sending my kid to college next year.
In this dialogue, “What else” went much wider than “Why”. It encouraged more sharing and used a different approach to gathering information. Importantly, using a broader information-gathering strategy can be key to establishing camaraderie early on in a relationship, as it generally feels better for the client: It is more open, encourages brainstorming, and invites the client to share what’s on their mind; it feels less like an interrogation, and doesn’t solicit the same question anxiety that can be associated with asking “why” or other more direct questions.
Yet, what about when advisors actually want to go deeper? Going wide to gather information can be helpful in many respects, but at some point, drilling down will eventually be key. The good news is that asking “What else?” is not a one-trick pony; it can also be used to drill down deeper into a client’s response, revealing underlying motivations that create more understanding of the client’s circumstances.
Consider the following continuation of the dialogue above, where the advisor continues to ask “What else?” to go deeper into the client’s particular concerns:
Advisor: Thank you for sharing all of those concerns with me. Let’s zero in a bit more on one of them. You said that you wanted to figure out how to retire. What else is coming up for you around that?
Newer Client: Work is just really hard lately.
Advisor: Okay, what else?
Newer Client: I am totally burned out, and my boss is… well… not that great. I’m tired.
Advisor: And what else?
Newer Client: I just know I used to really love my work, and now… I just don’t. I need to quit or take a break, and retirement seems like a good option…
In the above dialogue, the advisor is asking, “What else?” to encourage the client to continue circling around their problem, which allows the advisor to keep the conversation focused on the client. By doing so, the advisor has a much clearer picture of how the client views the idea of retirement and their motivation around it.
Beyond going wide as well as deep, asking “What else?” can support the development of new relationships more than asking “Why” at a particularly vulnerable time when prospects and new clients tend to be very nervous, unsure of the relationship with their new advisor, and cautious about what they say. Aside from the relatively minimal question anxiety that asking “What else” might elicit, research suggests that asking good follow-questions also tends to make a person more likable, and that’s how advisors usually want to be considered by their prospects and clients – likable, especially in the beginning of the relationship. And while advisors can certainly ask either “Why?” or “What else?” as a follow-up question, one is a lot less loaded and will come out sounding much softer, more inviting, and less judgmental.
Nerd Note:
Asking, “What else?” is a common follow-up question that Registered Life Planners use with clients. Advisors can easily follow up on any of the 3 Kinder Life Planning questions by asking, “What else?”. This approach works well to keep the client talking about and sharing their responses.
How To Successfully Use “What Else” In Early Relationships
The beauty of asking “What else?” as a follow-up question is that it can be used anytime and as often as the client says something that the advisor wants to know more about. It is a very simple question and will almost always follow the rules of a “true follow-up” question, which keep the conversation squarely on the client. The difference is slight but of crucial importance.
This is especially important early in relationships, as keeping the conversation focused on the client will help advisors build trust, learn about the client, and make the advisor more likable in the client’s eyes so that they continue to see your value, take your advice, and want to continue working with you.
Keeping The Focus On The Client Or Prospect
In everyday conversation, our general tendency is often to talk about ourselves and our own experiences, which means it can be very easy for advisors to inadvertently shift the focus of the conversation from the prospect or new client to themselves, especially when the person they are talking to is quiet, shy, or nervous about sharing personal information. Consider the following dialogue:
Client: When I think about my financial goals…I want to go to Italy.
Advisor: Very cool. Have you ever been to Rome?
Client: No. I’ve been to Venice, but not Rome.
Advisor: Italy is great! I have been to Rome…
In this exchange, the advisor is not doing anything wrong per se. It is very normal to exchange stories, give advice, and connect over shared experiences. But in this example, the advisor has taken the spotlight away from the client and has now made the client’s goals about them!
However, using “What else?” deliberately as a follow-up question can be a good way to help advisors ensure that the conversation stays focused on the client:
Client: When I think about my financial goals…I want to go to Italy.
Advisor: What else…?
Client: Well. Hmm. I want to go to Rome and maybe revisit Venice.
Advisor: Sounds incredible. What else?
Notice in the dialogue above that all emphasis and interest are kept on the client. In the early relationship stages, keeping the conversation focused singularly on the client tends to feel amazing for clients and prospects, making the advisor more likable and probably even helping them successfully close more prospecting meetings.
A Tool For Brainstorming
Asking “What else?” is particularly helpful in brainstorming meetings, especially when goals are being identified, as it encourages clients to keep talking and go beyond surface-level answers in a safe and non-threatening manner. Not only is this extremely important for planning purposes, but it can also be deeply motivating and insightful for clients. This is because many individuals never really think deeply about the reasons behind their financial goals or possibilities. They often think in very simplistic terms – “I want to retire” or “I don’t want to work”. They don’t often contemplate the underlying reasons behind why those goals are so important to them.
Thus, as doctors and other medical professionals are taught to use “What else?” as a gentle interview technique to encourage patients to share more details without sounding demanding or judgmental, advisors can do the very same.
Consider the following exchange:
Advisor: Before I ask you about what you might want, I want to start by asking you about something you currently dislike or that you want to change.
Client: My job. I hate it.
Advisor: What else…?
Client: Well, I should clarify. It’s not that I don’t want to work. I like work. I just hate my boss.
Advisor: Okay, what else is coming up?
Client: A friend of mine just went to work for another company. She thinks I should interview there.
Advisor: That’s exciting! What else…?
Simply by asking “What else?” over and over again, the advisor is letting the client’s mind run, and it works! The client is opening up with their frustrations and ideas, brainstorming their way toward a strategy to solve the problem.
It can also be helpful to practice asking “What else?” outside of client meetings, at home, or with a partner or a friend who calls to chat and to ask them “What else?” in response to a story or idea that was shared. Notably, changing the inflection of “what else” can encourage people to keep sharing and keep talking without sounding demanding or interrogative. When advisors change their inflection, they can sometimes switch gears of the conversation and get different responses, which can sometimes be helpful when they find they aren’t necessarily getting answers that are going deeper.
The key point is that “What else?” is a means to achieve the same ends as a “Why?”-based line of questioning while sidestepping the potential issues that “Why?” can create. When meeting with prospects or clients in the early stages of the relationship – when the client may still be getting used to the idea of having an advisor and sensitive towards being judged for their financial behavior – “What else?” can create an open and comfortable environment for the client to explore their goals and values, which ultimately can make it easier for the advisor to focus their advice on what’s truly meaningful for the client.
