Executive Summary
Initial outreach to a financial advicer rarely (if ever) results from a prospective client waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because they just figured out that they're in desperate need of a comprehensive financial plan. Rather, prospects often reach out to set an initial appointment only when they realize they have a specific pain point that they need an advicer's help with. It's during that first meeting that an advicer has an opportunity not only to demonstrate how they can help the prospect solve whatever problem they may be experiencing but also to gain valuable insight into the prospects themselves so that they can begin laying the foundation for what could evolve into a long-lasting professional relationship. Apart from spending time during the first meeting only to gather facts about the prospect, advicers can also utilize a variety of techniques to focus on who the prospect is, start building rapport, begin to establish a meaningful connection, and even set the stage for emotional buy-in.
In a discovery meeting, advicers have a short period of time to gain a deeper understanding about the prospect and establish a connection that will motivate them to become a client. And by asking good questions during that initial meeting, an advicer can learn about a prospect's main concerns and what sort of advice they need. One of the best ways to accomplish this is by asking questions that encourage the prospect to pause and reflect more deeply on the issue at hand. Such 'reflection' questions ask an individual to reflect on whatever information they've just offered in order to find personal meaning in what they've shared and why it's important to them. They are particularly effective in building rapport, because the simple act of asking reflection questions shows that the advicer has been listening closely and is interested in the prospect as a person, not just a potential client.
At a basic level, reflection questions are often framed as "this or that" statements which offer 2 ideas for the prospect to consider. Part of an advicer's job is helping prospective clients gain clarity around their goals, and it often takes several meetings for those goals to become well-defined. However, "this or that" questions can help break down daunting issues (like what a fulfilling retirement might look like for the prospect) by offering just 2 scenarios that they might consider as viable options for what their future might look like, with the caveat that alternatives are always available if neither felt 'right'.
Alternatively, advisers can introduce reflection questions using the phrase, "it seems" as a way to rephrase and summarize something a prospect said in order to elicit additional thoughts. The "it seems" framework is particularly useful when prospects need help prioritizing multiple goals. For instance, an advicer might observe that "it seems that saving for your child's education is important, but it also seems that you're concerned about whether or not you'll be ready for to retire when you want." Notably, such reflection questions aren't meant to tell the prospect which issue is more important, but rather, are meant to help the prospect identify their own reasons for how they should prioritize their goals.
Ultimately, the key point is that reflection questions can be used to help prospects identify the actions they can take to make progress toward their goals, narrow down which of their goals will be the most impactful, and offer prospects the motivation to stick with their financial plan. Finding the motivation to move forward is challenging when the path is unclear, and reflection questions can help prospects find clarity around their values and goals, which can also help them appreciate the value that a financial advicer brings to the table as a valued partner in their journey towards their long-term goals!
Asking Prospects Reflection Questions To Discover Deeply Through Data Gathering And Connection
Imagine a discovery meeting where the prospect says they have a large tax bill; they need help and want to discuss their situation. The discovery meeting is an opportunity for the advisor to learn more about the prospect and their initial concern; in this example, follow-up questions can be used to find out more about their previous tax bills, their current income situation, and particular factors that have led to the change they see this year.
During the discovery meeting, advisors don't just learn about the prospect's specific pain point; they also have an opportunity to learn about broader, unrelated financial planning areas. While the advisor may now understand the prospect's tax situation, they can also ask about other financial planning concerns (their cash flow, retirement outlook, etc). But they also glean valuable information about the prospects themselves – how are they feeling about these issues? What do they value most? What priorities are most meaningful to them?
Importantly, discovery meetings don't need to be limited just to gathering financial information. Using the right follow-up questions can yield important insights into the prospect's goals and priorities – even at this early stage of the relationship. For example, if the advisor knows there are concerns about retirement, they can ask follow-up questions that explore what the prospect's ideal retirement may look like and the priorities that make their vision so vital. Or if the prospect is concerned about their tax bill – advisors can understand what the issue is and why it arose, if the concern is just about this year in particular, whether it could happen again, and why it might be so concerning for the prospect.
Discovery meetings are an opportunity for advisors to set the stage as a time to focus on the prospect, listening to them while they have the pleasure of talking about themselves. By relying on a wide range of follow-up questions during discovery meetings, advisors can begin building rapport with new prospects to establish meaningful connections. And by giving prospects their undivided attention, advisors can make the process of sharing information about themselves rewarding (and even enjoyable!) for the prospect, giving the experience more impact. Ultimately, the strong foundation that advisors build at this early stage will increase the likelihood that prospects will not only engage with them but will also benefit from a long-lasting professional relationship!
The Value Of Creating A Shared Vision With Prospects
In sociology and communication theory, the principle of social constructionism addresses how an individual's social relationships impact their values, beliefs, ideas, and relationships with the external world. In the context of financial planning, social constructionism can provide a framework for advisors to work with a prospect's own perceptions of financial concepts, beliefs, and values, helping them to create a 'shared' vision through extensive inquiry and discussion, where financial challenges are addressed as a team together with their advisor.
By helping prospects understand financial planning strategies from the advisor's perspective using familiar frameworks that they can fully understand, both advisor and prospect reach a point where they are on the same page and see the same picture, which matters a great deal when the prospect becomes a client and can connect with their advisor over this shared vision. And when this process of building up a shared vision is followed over time, gradually developing a more expansive and detailed picture of the client's situation and goals, the advisor becomes a central guide that the client trusts to help them realize those goals.
What's perhaps most essential in achieving a foundational level of understanding and connection during the initial discovery meeting is to ask good questions that ultimately clarify the advice the prospect needs and help the advisor give advice in a relevant and relatable manner. In order to increase the likelihood that prospects will follow the advice they are given – once they become clients – it's crucial that advisors listen to the prospect even before they become clients.
Simply put, if advisors want prospects to become clients who listen to them, they must first ensure that the prospect feels valued and heard! To do this, they can craft follow-up questions that ensure prospects feel heard during the discovery meeting. However, while a provocative follow-up question can be as simple as, "That is interesting; tell me more," repeating the same request can be awkward and may start to feel insincere after an hour.
Fortunately, there are many ways to ask follow-up questions that help advisors develop deeper connections and mine broader-ranging insights from their prospects. One of the most powerful approaches is to use reflection questions, a type of follow-up question that encourages the prospect to pause and reflect more deeply on the discussion.
Reflection Questions Can Build Clarity, Specificity, And Motivation In Discovery Meetings
Reflection questions are those that ask an individual to 'reflect' on information they have just offered, encouraging them to find personal meaning and important insights from what they've just shared. The process is reiterative, involving both reflection and clarification. This not only serves to reveal and clarify information but also establishes rapport and strengthens the connection between the advisor and prospect.
Reflection questions are particularly effective at building rapport because they require the advisor to carefully listen so that they can solicit important feedback and contextual details from the prospect. This level of attentiveness to detail and engagement in the prospect's story requires empathy from the advisor, helping the advisor to develop a great deal of clarity about the prospect's situation.
"This Or That" Reflection Questions
Reflection questions are straightforward to form. At their base level, they typically utilize "this or that" statements that frame 2 ideas for the prospect to consider. Below is an example that illustrates what this means.
Example: Amy, a financial advicer, is meeting with Priya, a new prospect who wants help buying a new house. Because the purchase of a new home is a large financial expense that can be a deeply emotional process for some people, Amy wants to use reflection questions to understand Priya's primary concerns. Their dialogue goes something like this:
Amy: Hi Priya! It's so nice to meet you! I understand that your main goal is to buy a new house. Can you tell me more about what you'd like help with?
Priya: Hi Amy, thanks for meeting with me! So, yes… I want to buy a new home, and I need some help figuring out where to start.
Amy: Buying a new home is certainly exciting! Do you intend to sell your current house and move into a new home, or are you looking for a new home in addition to keeping your current home?
[Notice how Amy poses her first reflection question here]
Priya: The home I'm living in now is very special to me, and I couldn't dream of selling it! No, I definitely want to keep it. I'm actually thinking about buying a second home because I think prices are going to go up soon, and I really want the option of having 2 homes.
Amy: That's really interesting and would certainly give you a lot of flexibility. How do you see yourself using this home?
Priya: Well, I'm not really sure. I just don't know how to think through my choice and what factors I need to be aware of. I'd love to own beachfront property, and I also know that I probably won't be able to afford anything if prices creep up any higher…
Amy: I totally understand. What do you think about owning a home as a rental property, or using it yourself – maybe as a vacation home or a place you can live after you retire?
[Again, Amy uses a reflection question to delve deeper into Priya's priorities while also offering some ideas to keep the conversation moving]
Priya: Oh wow – those sound like great ideas. The idea of earning extra income from renting the property sounds great, and then when I retire I could enjoy the beach house whenever I wanted to!
Amy: Yes, that does sound like a great setup. So maybe having some steady rental income between now and when you retire, and then enjoying the property yourself during your retirement while also keeping your current house could be a possible strategy. How does that sound to you?
Priya: That sounds great. As I mentioned, I don't want to sell my current home… I think my daughter would want to move back into the house when she is finished with college.
In addition to demonstrating that they are listening very carefully, the advisor also illustrates their thoughtfulness in processing what was just said when they offer 'this-or-that' reflection questions. This further helps prospects build and strengthen a shared vision of what their financial planning journey looks like and how their advisor can be part of the process.
Imagine if the advisor and prospect were in a dark room together, trying to understand where they are and where they need to go. They ask each other what they see, what they are noticing, and what they can make out in the corner that's still dark. Does it look like this? Do you think that's the exit? Uncovering, exploring, and discussing the prospect's goals together not only creates deeper context and understanding of why those goals are important but also makes that future picture much brighter and clearer as a collaborative process.
For example, retirement can feel like an overwhelming topic for many individuals. While a prospect may want to discuss their retirement goals, they may have difficulty articulating the details of what retirement looks like for them, and it may take them more than a single meeting to fully express what they want. This-or-that reflection questions can be a useful approach to help the prospect break down the concept into a manageable learning process.
The goal is not to present an ultimatum to the prospect; rather, the questions are meant to invite discussion and encourage creative thought around how the prospect wants to develop their goals. Advisors in this situation have the opportunity to share the experience together with the prospect, see what they see, and better understand the options that might make sense for and appeal to the prospect.
There should be no pressure for an immediate solution; instead, the primary goal for the advisor is to create connection and trust with the prospect, and convey that they are not only interested in them as a potential client, but also curious about their perspectives, concerns, and intentions. Solutions can come later.
Prospect: I know I want to retire, but I can't really imagine my life without working anymore.
Advisor: That's understandable. Let me propose 2 different scenarios for you to think about that wouldn't require you to stop working just yet. Imagine working in a less stressful job or working part-time in your current position. Is one of these options easier to envision? It's okay if neither one feels right. We're just exploring some new ideas right now.
Prospect: Okay. Well, my job is very stressful, and while I don't see that changing, I do think reducing my hours could be a realistic option. I definitely find that option a lot easier to envision for myself. I think I'd prefer that option, too, because I'd like to have the time to find new ways to enjoy my free time without leaving my job altogether. I like my job, and I have friends at work that I would miss if I were to leave.
Gaining clarity can help prospects express what they want and explain how the advisor can help them accomplish their goals. For instance, in the example dialogue above, the advisor learns that the prospect is not quite ready to leave their job altogether and fully retire; they enjoy their job and have valued friendships at work. What the prospect is most interested in is having more free time to enjoy leisure activities.
Additionally, when prospects are very clear about their goals, advisors are better able to structure plans with well-defined, actionable steps when they become clients. This helps financial advisors guide their clients toward more effective decision-making and goal achievement through meaningful and relevant communication. Reflection questions may be simple in principle, but they are compelling and powerful in strengthening connection with prospects during discovery meetings.
"It Seems" Reflection Questions
Another type of reflection question uses the phrase "It seems…" as a way to rephrase and summarize something the prospect just said as a way to encourage them to share more feedback. This approach is best used for rephrasing the prospect's own ideas to help them consider a new angle of something they have already been thinking about; it is not meant to suggest the prospect take a course of action that they don't fully understand.
These questions can be especially helpful for prospects who need guidance prioritizing multiple goals. Applying the phrase "it seems" to the situation can be a simple way to frame the question in a way that helps the prospect focus on the perceived impact of different tasks. If it's clear that the prospect is really feeling confused about their situation, advisors might add a statement like, "Please correct me if I'm wrong" when using "it seems" to frame a reflection question.
Importantly, using "it seems" as a reflection question should frame a situation or circumstance (e.g., "It seems like your tax situation is more time-sensitive, but it also seems that college funding is more stressful for you."), and not as a way to tell the prospect themselves how they may or may not appear (e.g., "It seems like you are worried about taxes and stressed out about college."). This is an important distinction to make, as the former adds context and gives direction to the conversation, while the latter might make the prospect feel they are being judged or labeled.
Notably, the advisor's goal isn't to tell the prospect that taxes or college funding is the more important issue to address first. Instead, the question is meant to help the prospect think about and identify their own reasons to identify how they should prioritize their goals.
It is entirely possible that the prospect will answer the advisor by coming up with entirely different scenarios. This is not a problem. The purpose of the discussion is not necessarily to identify a quick solution. The process of brainstorming – which can take several conversations – can be a powerful way to get to the right solution.
Using Reflection Questions In Discovery Meetings
Reflection questions are versatile tools that can be used during discovery meetings not only to help prospects gain clarity but also to narrow down a topic. Reflection questions can even help connect prospects with the deeper, more inspiring emotions underlying their financial goals.
Asking reflection questions keeps the conversation oriented on the prospect. Prospects are invited to talk freely and feel heard by the advisor, which increases the likelihood that they will engage as a client and benefit from a meaningful long-term relationship.
Eliciting Clarity Around Priorities
Oftentimes, individuals need more detailed clarity around their priorities to determine which changes will help them achieve their goals most effectively. The challenge is compounded when there are several concerns and conflicting priorities. And while advisors may enjoy complex planning challenges with multiple moving parts, too many tasks to manage can be overwhelming for prospects and clients to think about. Simply getting started can be a challenge when there is too much to consider all at once.
The following scenario illustrates how reflection questions can be used to help prospects clarify and prioritize goals so that they can move forward without becoming overwhelmed with too many moving parts.
Prospect: I feel like there's so much I need to do; I can't even figure out where to start. My taxes, my children's college funding, retirement... Everything feels equally important, and all of it is going to take so much work.
Advisor: Here are 2 approaches that come to mind we can consider. The first thing I imagine is that we can start by looking at your tax situation, as any changes we make will have the most immediate impact on your financial situation. Once we do that and build up some momentum, we can then consider what's next in line.
Alternatively, we might also start by talking about how your kids' college funding will be managed. Setting up some funding strategies won't take much work, and you may even feel energized by the satisfaction of getting that done, which may motivate you to prioritize the next task.
Does one of these scenarios feel more impactful than the other to you?
Prospect: Those are both great points that help me see these goals more clearly. I definitely feel that taxes are more important to tackle right now because of their immediate impact and because I'm really worried about owing too much and having to pay penalties. My kids are still young, so I feel okay about prioritizing their college funding after we square away my taxes. And while I do want to support them, I also want them to be hard workers and be responsible for paying for part of their own education.
Because the prospect does the majority of the talking – since the purpose of reflection questions is to encourage them to reflect more deeply on their own responses – they ultimately talk themselves into getting started, which tends to be a much more impactful motivator than the advisor moving too quickly and picking a direction for them.
Narrowing The Focus Of Goals
Sometimes, prospects need to narrow the scope of their goals in order to develop an actionable working strategy. Using reflection questions can help them identify the pertinent details and understand the relevant reasons that their goals are important to them, which can help them narrow the focus of their goals.
For example, retirement can mean any number of different things that depend on an individual's preferences and situation, and it's impossible to create a sensible plan without understanding these factors to narrow down the scope of the goal to target what's most important for the prospect. In the earlier example illustrating a discussion about retirement, the advisor helped the prospect narrow the focus of their retirement goal by clarifying that they still enjoy their job and the friendships they have with their co-workers, but that they also want more free time to enjoy leisure activities. This helps narrow the focus of the goal by identifying that a partial retirement with a transition into a part-time job might be the best solution for the prospect.
Similarly, in the example where the advisor helps an overwhelmed prospect decide where to start with their financial planning goals, clarifying the prospect's priorities and values helps the prospect identify the area they want to address first. The discussion even reveals important insight into the prospect's relationship with their children.
Ultimately, reflection questions help prospects identify their precise goals, which are more actionable and motivating because they're well-defined and often more meaningful than broader and vaguer goals.
Connecting Goals With Motivating Emotions
While achieving more clarity and narrowing focus can help prospects identify and prioritize their goals, connecting with deeper emotions that serve as the primary impetus for goals can give prospects the motivation to achieve those goals. And using reflection questions to address each of these areas can greatly increase the chances that the prospect will engage with the advisor so that they can get the help they need in creating a plan they can implement!
When it comes to connecting emotions to goals, reflection questions can be an excellent way to help prospects identify the particular emotions that motivate them the most, which will ultimately help them stick to their financial plan.
Consider the exchange in the dialogue example below, in which the advisor has associated the idea of being more organized with emotions of security and confidence.
Prospect: Even though I think I've done well up to this point, I really want to do everything I can to avoid blowing up my financial future. I think getting more organized will help me maintain my safety net and avoid big pitfalls. That's really my biggest concern right now.
Advisor: I'm hearing that being organized is really important to you because it would help you to feel safer or more confident. Am I following you correctly?
Importantly, while fear can be a powerful motivator (for example, fear of being evicted is a huge motivator for paying one's rent on time!), positive emotions can also be an excellent source of motivation. Tying an action-based goal to a motivating emotion – whether positive or negative – can be a very potent tool for advisors to motivate prospects and clients.
The following example illustrates how an advisor might discuss a solution in the context of rewarding emotions.
Advisor: If we organize all of your data into our financial planning software, the client portal would allow you to easily access your information. This would let you feel confident about your data being kept securely, and you would have total control over accessing your information whenever you wanted to. We would also be able to meet regularly over the next few months to work through your plan until you feel comfortable about how your plan has shaped up. How does that sound to you?
By tying the task of organizing data to more motivating emotions – confidence, security, comfort – the advisor has presented a situation to the prospect in terms of the emotions more likely to motivate the prospect while brainstorming some ideas of how to achieve the task.
The prospect feels heard and motivated, and they now have the context to begin communicating their goals in terms of what is most emotionally satisfying. This is how the process of creating a shared vision with the advisor begins, and everyone leaves with greater traction and connection.
Many prospects – and even clients – often struggle to find the motivation they need to make important changes, especially when the nature of the work ahead seems unclear. Asking reflection questions can help prospects find clarity about their values and narrow down their goals to focus on what's most important to them, which can even help them better understand the value of engaging with a financial advisor. And by using reflection questions to help prospects identify the emotions that motivate them to get the work done, financial advisors can inspire them by giving them direction (and, once they become clients, by maintaining their momentum) in reaching their goals while deepening their relationship with them at the same time!
